I check my Facebook page 36 times a day for the sole purpose of making sure I have not accidentally posted a nude photo of myself

I reread an email 13 times before pressing send to ensure I have not written something in the email that could convict me of a crime

Before taking a stage when asked if I allow flash photography I always want to say “No” because I’m terrified flash photography will give me epilepsy

I know it doesn’t work like that, still

I never eat nuts on an airplane out of fear of that I will suddenly develop a nut allergy and if I have to asphyxiate I don’t want it to happen at 30,000 feet

Twice in the last two years I’ve been aborted from an airplane for running screaming down the aisles as the plane was taking off

I can’t walk through San Francisco without worrying my indigestion is the beginning of an earthquake
I brace for tsunamis beside lakes in Colorado
I’m not joking
The last time I saw Niagara Falls I couldn’t take it
It was too much much
I had to plug my ears to look at it and close my eyes to listen

Generally I can’t do all my senses at the same time they are too much much

Like if you touch me without warning, whoever you are, it will take everything I have to not hate you

Imagine your hands are electrical sockets and I am constantly aware that I am 70% water
it’s not that I’ve not tried to build a dam

Ask my therapist who pays her mortgage
My cost of living went up
at five years old when I told my mother I have to stop going to birthday parties because every time I hear a balloon pop I feel like I’m gonna get murdered in the heart

Last year a balloon popped on the stage where I was performing, I started crying in front of the whole crowd
plugged my ears and kept repeating the word “LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD” it was super sexy

That’s what I do
I do super sexy

Like when I asked the super cute barista 11 times ‘are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure that’- yes I drink decaffeinated and still jitter like a bug running from the bright bright bright

I have spent years of my life wearing a tight rubber band hidden beneath my hair so my brain could have a hug

These days when no one’s looking I wear a fuzzy fitted winter hat that buttons tight beneath the chin

I only ever wear a tie so that when I convince myself I’m choking my senses have something they are certain they can blame

As a kid I was so certain I would die the way of meteor falling on my head
I would go whole weeks without looking at the sky ‘cause I didn’t want to witness the coming of my own death

I started tapping the kitchen sink seven times to build a shield

My mother started making lists of everything I thought would kill me in hopes that if I saw my fears they would disappear
Bless her heart but the first time I saw that list I started filling a salad bowl with bleach and soaking my shoe laces overnight so in the morning when I ironed them they would be so bright I would be certain I had control over
how much dark could break into my light
how much jack hammer could break into my heart
My spine it has always been a lasso that could never catch my breath

I honestly can’t imagine how it would feel to walk into a room full of people and not feel the roof collapsing on my ‘NO NO NO I am not fine’

Fine is the suckiest word
it never tells the truth

And more than anything I have ever been afraid of I am terrified of lies
How they war the world
How they sound by our tongues
How they bone dry the marrow

How did we get through high school without being taught Dr. King spent two decades having panic attacks?
Avoided Windows
Jumped at thunder

I think we are all part flight the fight
part run for your life
Part ‘please please please like me’
Part Can’t breathe
Part scared to say you’re scared
Part say it anyway

You panic button collector
You clock of beautiful ticks
You run out the door if you need to
You flock to the front row of your own class
You feather everything until you know you can always, always shake like a leaf on my family tree and know you belong here

You belong here and everything you feel is okay
Everything you feel is okay

"Panic Button Collector" - Andrea Gibson

This is the best poem about anxiety that I have ever read.

(via thinkmewhole)


(Reblogged from superjaneness)

mmouse15:

ydrill:

Cats in piles

Bad day.  Apply fuzzy therapy as needed.

(Reblogged from formerlyknownasemily)

cabinporn:

Stone and wood shack near Kemacher Peak in Innsbruck, Austria.

Contributed by Carmen Blauvent.

(Reblogged from cabinporn)
(Reblogged from magicalarabia)

magicalarabia:

Mount Sannine, Lebanon
جبل صنين٬ لينان

by @ashfrinz

For more visit: 
http://bit.ly/1y4v8wm

(Reblogged from magicalarabia)

thecrustychicano:

sizvideos:

Video

but why do we always make everything about race…. right? 

(Reblogged from formerlyknownasemily)

theblackestwidow:

THIS MAN IS A GIFT

(Source: sandandglass)

(Reblogged from formerlyknownasemily)
  • me: whats your opinion on tampons
  • little brother: they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
  • me: then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
  • little brother: why
  • me: for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
  • little brother: well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
  • me:
  • little brother:
  • me: that is a fantastic point
(Reblogged from formerlyknownasemily)

esswishlist:

35. Bulbasaur Flowerpot (Succulent Monsters)

x7r found them! :) you can buy these from here or there is a 3D print version

(Reblogged from formerlyknownasemily)

daeneryus:

"i understand women have it bad but men have it bad too"

image

"i mean, women are almost equal to men as it is"

image

"i’m not a feminist, i believe in equality"

image

(Reblogged from formerlyknownasemily)
Anxiety can just as well express itself by muteness as by a scream.
Søren Kierkegaard (via blackestdespondency)
(Reblogged from superjaneness)

“If all cosmos were the same distance apart, gravity would pull them all in the same direction. They’d remain perfectly aligned, and precisely nothing would happen. Irregularity, imperfection, and lack of order in hydrogen compacts, atoms of gas gravitating away from each other, and compressed temperatures is what created our universe. Perfection in our galaxy simply does not exist. Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist.” —Into The Universe with Stephen Hawking: ‘The Story of Everything’ 
Utilize this as an analogy next time attempt to undermine your self-worth caused by fallacious and subjective standards one must meet in order to attain aesthetic appeal. Symmetric cannot be created if its source is asymmetric.

“If all cosmos were the same distance apart, gravity would pull them all in the same direction. They’d remain perfectly aligned, and precisely nothing would happen. Irregularity, imperfection, and lack of order in hydrogen compacts, atoms of gas gravitating away from each other, and compressed temperatures is what created our universe. Perfection in our galaxy simply does not exist. Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist.” —Into The Universe with Stephen Hawking: ‘The Story of Everything’ 


Utilize this as an analogy next time attempt to undermine your self-worth caused by fallacious and subjective standards one must meet in order to attain aesthetic appeal. Symmetric cannot be created if its source is asymmetric.

(Source: bonvivantx)

(Reblogged from superjaneness)
queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html

queertodaygonetomorrow:

atane:

wristxrocket:

dear-drifter:

lilightfoot:

Remember.

his life was totally in danger.

^^^^

True story; this officer (John Pike) got a settlement of $38,000 because he said he got depressed after pepper spraying these kids. Oh, the depression wasn’t for feeling remorseful for pepper spraying a bunch of college kids peacefully protesting. He got depressed because he said since the media kept playing the video of him pepper spraying peaceful kids without cause, he got threats and didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe. I’m not making that up. This motherfucker collected nearly 40 grand on worker’s comp after assaulting a bunch of college kids.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/23/pepper-spray-cop-settlement_n_4152147.html

(Source: kropotkindersurprise)

(Reblogged from riotrite)

theverylostprincess:

daisyinaglass:

I CAN NOT GET OVER THIS

how does 6 seconds have such a drastic plot twist

(Source: vinegod)

(Reblogged from superjaneness)

via atlasobscura:

Book Towns: Where Reading is the Reason to Live

Some small towns in the rural reaches that lost their former industries have reimagined themselves as "book towns." By filling empty storefronts with used and antiquarian bookshops, and hosting literary festivals, the goal is to attract new visitors in the form of bibliophiles. 

The book towns are officially united through the International Organisation of Book Towns. The movement started in 1961 with Richard Booth in Hay-on-Wye in Wales, and now includes towns across Europe and in Malaysia, Korea, and Australia. However, the drive for a sustainable tourism development program in these rural areas has hit some hurdles in recent years with the consolidation of the used book trade online and rise of the e-book. As Adrian Turpin, director of the literary festival in Wigtown, Scotland’s book town, told the BBC in 2012:

"There was a time when second-hand book sellers in book towns were first of all selling books and secondly selling the experience of browsing. Now it is almost the other way around."

Despite these recent changes in the literary landscape, the book towns thrive on.

For five of our favorites, keep reading on Atlas Obscura… 

(Reblogged from superjaneness)